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You Know Nothing
A NightXCrow songfic. Part of my album. You Know Nothing We broke up last night Like we do every month Our relationship goes up and down, down I watched LeafpooI l turn around and walk away. Rage bubbled up inside me, I was so angry. Kits? What if my Clan found out? What if I was exiled? I was too furious to watch anymore. Dark thoughts clouded my mind, and I too left the border and began to run across the purple moors. Possibilities ran through my head. I could run away, but that was silly. I trusted Leafpool enough that I knew she wouldn't tell anybody. Except her annoying sister Squirrelflight who likes that idiot Brambleclaw, ''I thought grimly. I'd never liked the deputy. Maybe Squirrelflight would tell. I had to talk to her, check that nobody else knew. My life depended on it. '''I chucked my pillow across the room' Cried till tears ran down my cheeks, uh oh But the point is your poison 'Squirrelflight.' I mewed curtly. 'You came.' 'Of course I did,' she retorted, equally as hostile. She twitched her whiskers. 'And I know what you want to ask me. I haven't told a soul, don't worry.' 'How about the kits?' I asked, worried. Leafpool must've had them now. I couldn't care for them, I knew I couldn't, but it was my second nature to look after them. Squirrelflight hesitated, like she didn't want to tell me anything. Then finally, she said, 'You musn't tell anyone, otherwise Leafpool and I will be in big trouble.' Fury washed over me again. 'So it doesn't matter about me, does it? It's all about you and Leafpool. Does it matter that all of us ''could get exiled? What have you done anyway, that could get you in trouble?' Squirrelflight sank her claws into the grass, trying to restrain herself. Then she slowly sheathed them again, breathing deeply. 'I've lied,' she whispered softly. 'I've told Brambleclaw they're ours.' She looked up at me.'You don't blame me, do you?' 'No,' I mewed, relief sweeping through me. 'Thank you. You've- you've saved me.' 'No problem,' Squirrelflight replied breezily. 'I'd better get back to the kits. She turned around, the looked over her shoulder at me. 'I know that the news will come out someday, I don't know when. But when it does, be sure to act suprised.' I nodded. 'Anything to protect them.' She began to pad away. But I still had one more question on my mind. 'Wait!' I called after her. She turned round. 'What have you named them?' 'Jaykit, Hollykit and Lionkit,' Squirrelflight responded warmly. 'Jaykit looks like you.' And she left, my mind filled with the thoughts of the kits I'd never met. '''And I just adore you' I'm such a crazy girl when you gonna miss me? ''' '''You reply, no, no, no, no 'Want to go hunting?' Nightcloud mewed anxiously, like she was scared of my reply. I purred. 'Of course.' She was no Leafpool, but I suppose she was nicer than some of the other WindClan cats. We ran out of the camp and started over the moor. I couldn't really concentrate, my mind kept flickering off the task. I missed a rabbit that ran into my paws. I began to tear up the grass in frustration. 'Are you alright?' Nightcloud asked. I nodded, and took a few deep breaths, then turned to look at the black she-cat. Warmth, sympathy and love filled her amber gaze. I wanted to look away, but forced myself to look on. It was clear Nightcloud liked me, but I didn't feel the same. She touched my flank comfortingly with her tail. Though nobody knew I had broken the warrior code with Leafpool, I felt like I needed to prove myself to my Clan. Anger burned inside me as I thought how disloyal I'd been. From now on, Leafpool was dead to me. I looked at Nightcloud and forced a purr. She was the way I could stay in the Clans. I'm getting over you tonight We ain't lovers, but more than friends I love you, you like me 'Come on Breezekit,' I mewed, waving my tail in front of him. 'My tail's a lovely, juicy piece of prey.' Breezekit swiped his tongue around his muzzle, as if he could taste mouse already, then pounced on my tail, battering it with his paws. 'Well done,' I purred. 'You'll make a great hunter one day.' 'Of course I will,' Breezekit retorted. 'I'm going to me the best warrior in WindClan!' He reared up onto his little hind legs and swiped at an invisible enemy in the air. I wondered what my kits in ThunderClan would be like if I played with them. Shaking my head, I nosed my way into the nursery. Nightcloud was in there, suckling our other two kits, Stonekit and Goosekit. They were sickly things, and I feared they would die soon. Leaf bare was creeping up on us like a hawk. 'Isn't Breezekit coming in too?' Nightcloud demanded. 'He'll catch a cold out there.' I knew she worried for our kits, especially Breezekit, in case he became ill like his siblings. 'He's fine,' I retorted. 'He's a tough little thing.' Nightcloud glared at me, and I stalked out of the nursery. I didn't care for her. That's how it ends Cause you know nothing about me I walked down the lakeshore, feeling the pebbles crackle beneath my pads. Several moons had passed, and Goosekit and Stonekit had died, their tiny, fragile bodies packed under coarse grass. I still hadn't managed to push away my feeling of guilt. Ever since my two kits had died, I tried to ignore Nightcloud. She wasn't my true love, and I felt guilty because I had used her to prove my loyalty. The full moon hung high in a star spattered sky, cradled by the trees' branches. It was the night of the Gathering, and we'd almost reached the tree bridge. Breezepaw and Heatherpaw padded along beside me, their eyes shing as bright as the lake and their tails held high. I leapt up onto the fallen tree. 'It's easy,' I called down to the two apprentices. 'Make sure you keep gripping with your claws and you'll be alright.' I jumped back down again, letting Breezepaw and Heatherpaw go on ahead, keeping one eye fixed on them. An injured apprentice wasn't good for the Clan. We were halfway across when Heatherpaw lost her balance slightly. She began to panic, and she was soon sliding over the edge, her hindpaws a fox length away from the water. Growling, I trotted up, sank my teeth into her scruff and hauled her back on. 'Thanks,' she gasped, her eyes alight with the flame of fear. 'You wouldn't do that for Breezepaw,' Nightcloud hissed from behind me. I jumped, startled. I hadn't realised she was following me. 'Go away,' I snarled. I turned back to Heatherpaw, speaking harsher than I should have. 'Keep moving. And don't fall over again.' I know nothing about you Nothing, nothing, nothing You know nothing After Breezepaw and Heatherpaw got over the initial shock of seeing so many cats in one place, they soon began chatting away. They talked to two apprentices from ThunderClan, though I didn't know who they were. One was jet black, her pelt like a streak of nightsky, the other golden, the complete opposite of his sister. As I ushered the apprentices underneath the gnarled and worn tree, I cast my eye round for Leafpool. She was there in the corner, talking quietly to a small grey tom with piercing blue eyes, similar to mine. I recognised him, I'd fished him out of the river. He was blind. Heasked Leafpool something nd his mentor nodded. He ran off to stand beside the two cats I'd seen earlier, presumable his littermates. I was still staring at them, and I felt....what was the feeling? It was like some invisible force wanted to push my forward towards these young ThunderClan warriors. I shook my head, struggling to clear it. Next to me, Nightcloud glared. 'Why are you mooning over those apprentices? They mean nothing ''to you, Crowfeather. They aren't you're family.' She flicked her tail towards Breezepaw, who jutted his muzzle out and scowled haughtily at me. I was taken aback by their passion. This was my son, my pure, WindClan son, and he seemed to hate me. Glancing at Nightcloud, she was wearing a similar expression, like she'd eaten a bad rabbit. She must be encouraging Breezepaw to dislike me. I turned away from my sulky kin and shuffled several tail lengths away from them until I was sat beside Whitetail. She asked me, her eyes brimming with concern, 'Is everything alright with Nightcloud?' 'Leave me alone,' I hissed, as the leaders' yowls sounded from the tree. The Gathering had begun. '''So I lay there, alone' Staring at the ever changing sky through my window And when I see you walking down the street I half listened to the leaders. Nothing interesting was spoken, just lies about how everything was fine during leaf bare and that the Clan was well fed. I was sick of lies. I decided, whilst Blackstar was telling the Clans how they'd chased a fox of their territory, that I would speak to Leafpool tonight, before we left. I had to hear how my kits were doing. Their life was built on lies too. Squirrelflight and Brambleclaw weren't their real parents. That's why I wanted to tell Leafpool how I was feeling. I couldn't tell anyone else, no cat knew of my half-Clan kits. She was the only one who understood. Then something Firestar said jolted me from my thoughts. 'And we have three new apprentices, Jaypaw, Hollypaw and Lionpaw!' ThunderClan yowled their cheers, but to me they sounded muffled, like fog was stuffed in my ears. Hollypaw, Jaypaw and Lionpaw. ''I knew those names, it was all those moons back when Squirrelflight had told me their names: ''Hollykit, Lionkit and Jaykit. Great StarClan. Standing there, fox lengths away from me, where my kits. I could hear my heart beating in my chest, like a paw was thumping it from inside. That explained the pull I'd felt earlier. As I was their father, I felt like I was being drawn towards them... The cheers subsided, and as Firestar continued to speak, I took the chance to examine my ThunderClan kits closely. Lionpaw was a little like me in his long legs, but the similarities stopped there. Hollypaw was lithe and lean like me, and her pelt was only a little darker than mine. Then Jaypaw. I narrowed my eyes. He looked very like me. He had the same startling blue eyes, but I realised that he never really used them. He sniffed a lot. Because he's blind, ''I reminded myelf. i'd met blind cats before; Longtail I'd helped on the Great Journey,. I recalled how he used hearing and scenting to replace his sight. 'Crowfeather?' Whitetail nudged me lightly with her flank. 'It's time to go.' My mind raced. I had to meet Leafpool. 'Give me a moment,' I grunted. 'I'll catch up.' And I dashed into the throng of cats before she could open her jaws. '''With her, the one you used to love' I blow it again and it's down And that's just no, no, no, no, no Trying to move back towards the tree when all the cats want to go in the opposite direction is hard. It's like swimming into the current instead of letting it take you the way it wants. That was almost an omen, that I should be going out with the others, that this was wrong. I knew all this, but I needed news desperatly. I knew my mind would be hopping about like an impatient rabbit all evening if I didn't speak to Leafpool. There she was, struggling her way through the melee with Littlecloud at her side. He was saying something, his whiskers twitching worriedly, and she was nodding sympathetically. 'Leafpool,' I hissed softly. 'Talk to me.' I saw anger, confusion and hope cross her features. She excused herself to Littlecloud, mewed something about making dirt, and then made her way over to me, where I was seated under a tree. 'Thanks for coming. I spoke quietly, staying in the shadows where no one would notice me. 'What do you want?' Leafpool had her back to me, pretending to make dirt, scorn tinging her tone. 'I need to hear about them,' I pleaded. 'The kits. How are they doing?' Leafpool whipped round to face me, fury buring in her gaze like fire. 'You don't need to hear about them,' she snarled. 'They're not yours. They're in a different Clan. Besides,' she added. 'I thought you wanted nothing to do with them. Back when I told you I was expecting, you were mad.' I sighed. Leafpool was right. 'But I don't feel that way now,' I explained hurriedly. She was beginning to walk away from me. 'Talk to me, please.' Leafpool spun round again. The anger was still there, but now sorrow tinged her gaze. 'Leave me alone,' she snapped. 'Lionpaw, Hollypaw and Jaypaw are not ours any more. They are Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight's. And I chose my Clan over you, remember? Don't forget that.' And I watched helplessly as she crossed the clearing and leapt onto the tree bridge like an agile fox. I watched her until she was nothing more than a shadow in the trees. I'm getting over you tonight We ain't lovers, but more than friends I love you, you like me 'What are you doing?' A snarl cut across my flurry of thoughts. 'Pardon?' Onestar sighed, a deep ragged sigh. He sounded exhausted. 'Crowfeather, you've been in a daze since we left the Gathering. You would've waded right into the middle of the lake if I hadn't stopped you.' I glanced down at my paws. They were wet, and I was standing in the shallow shore. 'Sorry,' I mumbled, as if I was holding a piece of prey in my jaws. I couldn't forget what Leafpool has said. And as much as I was angry and sad and completely annoyed with her, my former mate was right. Lionpaw, Hollypaw and Jaypaw could never be mine. She chose her Clan over me. I had been mad at her for moons. I stumbled back to camp, feeling familiarity spill over me as I curled up tightly in my nest, feeling the light breeze ruffle my pelt. I love sleeping out in the open, I feel closer to nature and StarClan. But sleep wouldn't come, my eyes wouldn't close, and my mind refused to rest. In the end, I rolled over, got up and walked out of camp. Dawn was beginning to spill across the sky. My heart twisted with grief as I remembered how I had watched the same sun rise when I was with Leafpool. I strolled up to the top of the hills, trying to tire myself out. I heard a the rustle of a cat pushing their way through heather. I spun round to see a black outline I easily recognized. 'Nightcloud?' I mewed, my voice coming out harsher than I meant to. That's how it ends Cause you know nothing about me I know nothing about you The black shadow slipped out from the behind the plants, her night coloured pelt bristling so that it looked like a bush of brambles. Fury filled her sharp gaze, her cold contempt freezing me, and preventing me from saying anything else. Nightcloud had always been a passionate cat, slightly tricky and slightly prickly. I braced myself. From her eyes, which were glinting like shards of ice, Nightcloud was mad. I gulped. 'What in the name of StarClan do you think you're doing?' she challenged, her voice deadly calm. I flattened my ears. 'Doing what?' I spat back, feeling hatred choking my throat like mouse bile. 'I haven't done anything, I can't sleep so I came here.' Nightcloud took a step forward. 'You know what I'm talking about Crowfeather,' she snarled, her fur flat. 'Seeing Leafpool.' I felt myself stop still. 'We weren't doing anything,' I mewed, trying to keep my tone nochalant. 'Talking about ThunderClan, prey, the like.' I tried not to make my tone tremble. Nightcloud spotted me faulter, and her eyes glinted with malice. 'I saw you, you went looking for her.' ''She growled the last word like it was disgusting. 'What were you really talking about?' I cowered away from her. 'It's none of your buisness.' Nightcloud snorted. 'It is actually. I'm your mate, and Breezepaw is your kit, yet you treat him like he's a piece of fox dung. If you make me one promise, I will swear not to probe into your conversation with her.' 'I'd do anything,' I breathed. I was going to get away with it! But what fell from Nightcloud's mouth made me groan and wail inside. 'I won't interrogate any more if you vow to love only me and Breezepaw. Your real family. Leafpool isn't yours anymore and she never can or will be.' I swallowed nervously. I didn't love her or Breezepaw. But to save my pelt? 'Fine,' I hissed. 'I promise I will only ever love you and Breezepaw.' 'Say it like you mean it!' my mate growled, her claws sliding out. 'I promise I will only ever love you and Breezepaw!' I vowed, trying to put as much feeling into my voice. Nightcloud nodded approvingly, the fierce glint fading from her eyes. She turned and melted into the dawn. I crumpled to the ground like a shriveled autumn leaf. What had I just done? '''Nothing, nothing, nothing' You know nothing Four season later I was still living my cursed life. I treated Breezepelt and Nightcloud like leaders, showing my devotion to them in every way possible. But the thing was: I didn't really love them. I didn't feel the emotions a normal father and mate should. I had promised. But aren't promises made to be broken? I made a vow to a ThunderClan cat, gave my heart to her long before. And look how that turned out. I was patrolling the border one day when I was approached by one of my fellow Clanmates. 'There are three ThunderClan cats at the border,' he panted. 'And they want to see you.' Swallowing panic, I dashed to the stream to see my kits standing in a straight line, ther muscles tense like old warriors. Hollyleaf, Jayfeather and Lionblaze's eyes were filled with hate and cold fury. 'What do you want?' I snarled. 'I have better things to do then to talk to you-' I was cut off by Jayfeather saying, 'You are our father. And Leafpool is our mother.' I suddenly felt wobbly, like the ground beneath was shaking us. 'What?' 'It's true,' Hollyleaf growled. She wasn't looking at me. 'Don't deny it,' Lionblaze added. Jayfeather's blind blue eyes probed me until I felt him reaching into my mind...Don't! ''I thought-shouted. ''What are you doing? I don't want you here.... But my protests were lost as I was dragged back in time....Leafpool dangling off the edge of the lip of her camp....Me pulling her over and telling her I loved her...Meeting Leafpool at the border...Her purring....''The memories flashed before my eyes, gone as quickly as a crack of lightning. We journeyed onwards in time. Jayfeather was doing this, not that I had any idea how...'We could run away,' my younger self mewed. 'I would to be with you.'.....Scampering across the hills....Midnight saying the Clans were in trouble....Fighting against badgers...Leafpool mewing, her eyes wet, 'I'm choosing my Clan over you....I'm sorry.... And then with a ''whoosh ''my son was out of my head. I stopped, panting, then finally managed to mew, 'Go back home. Leave me alone. You mean nothing to me, nothing.' '''And then I realise' I'm still into you And your still loving her We criss cross like that oh I trudged along to the Gathering, my kit and mate walking briskly ahead of me. The air crackled like lightening with tension and hate. All the Clans were on the edge after a long, hard leafbare. We trudged along the fallen tree and I was reminded of the horrible Gathering when I first met my real kits. And that discussion on the border a few sunrises earlier...Did I really hate them? Shaking my head like I had cloudfluff in my ears, I ignored the ominous feeling protruding from my stomach. I'm the new notch on your belt Like everyone else before me oh I'm getting over you tonight We ain't lovers, but more than friends I love you, you like me That's how it ends Cause you know nothing about me I know nothing about you 'Nothing, nothing, nothing You know nothing And then I realise I'm still into you And your still loving her We criss cross like that oh I'm the new notch on your belt Like everyone else before me oh Category:HIMG's Album